Dear Sam & Denali,

Every year as your birthdays approaches, mom and I take a walk down Memory Lane. We’ll replay key events in your lives, making them come alive once again. One of our favorite stories to recount, and a preview of our lives to come as parents, is the moment at mom’s first ultrasound when we found out she was carrying twins. Imagine our surprise! I know it’s a cliche to say, but events like this really do feel like they happened yesterday. Sometimes though, it’s all just a blur then the film clip that I’m running will suddenly stop and snap into razor-sharp focus where I find myself completely caught up in a specific moment of your lives.

You turn twenty one today. It’s been a long road from your first cries to your first legal drink. There have been peaks and valleys, long stretches of calm, and also rough patches fraught with peril. From those endless nights of feeding and diaper changes to your first day of Kindergarten, to your first solo trips behind the wheel, to this day, March 6, 2025 it’s been, to quote mom’s and my favorite band; “A long, strange trip”. I could also add exhilarating, heart breaking, joyous and nerve wracking to the list. Just when mom and I felt like we were in a good groove, you’d go ahead and change and it felt like we had to start all over again. In the run-up to parenthood, no one dared to tell us about this conundrum. Here’s something else no one bothered to tell us: how much we would love you. How on Earth do you explain to a non-parent the unconditional, sometimes terrifying intensity of the love that you can have for another human being? Our love for you never diminishes, it simply evolves into different permutations. I look at you now and marvel at how you’ve grown. We have adult conversations now and deal with adult issues but in my mind’s eye, you’re still kids. Flashes of your ”kidness” come out all the time: during the holidays, at Giants games, exploring tide pools, playing extreme croquet in the backyard, on the beach in Hawaii. Sometimes the two of you will simply drop into “Sam & Denali” mode; as twins you have a unique bond that singletons could never understand.

The older the two of  you get the more of ourselves mom and I see in you. Sam, you once remarked, “Dad, you can talk to anyone.” Yes I can and so could Grandpa Ferrera and so can you. Denali you’ve got my goofy sense of humor…and you’re playing guitar! Mom is a can-do and determined person who does not give up easily, qualities that I see in the ways both of you approach life. And Denali, mom’s gourmet cooking skills seem to be rubbing off on you too. Sam, remember our trips to Ace Hardware? The sole purpose being to just look around? And how about the hours we spent in the garage creating projects out of scrap wood? Those experiences have manifested themselves in your affinity for woodworking and cars. Grandpa Brennan was a skilled tinkerer and contractor, so the genesis of your abilities go even farther back.  Sam, you’ve got mom’s electric blue eyes, Denali, ya got my nose! Yes, mom and I can take some of the credit, but the two of you are the sum of your experiences, you are your own person, we just added encouragement, leading by example from the day you were born. 

Turning twenty one is a huge milestone. Yes, you can now legally buy alcohol or cannabis, you can reserve a hotel room or rent a car but that’s just surface stuff. As you cross the Rubicon into adulthood your lives enter a new and exciting phase. There’s no road map for where you’re going, you can’t Google what lies ahead. You’re both free to do whatever your heart desires, the possibilities are unlimited. Dream big, take chances, succeed, fail and get back up again. This is a bittersweet time for mom and I but exciting too as we watch you lift-off. Know that we love you more than you’ll ever know and that being your parents is the greatest joy of our lives.

Love,  

Dad